Birds, Bees, Bathrooms and Democrats

Circa 2014 … I wrote this a while back but couldn’t help to post it on this blog. Enjoy 🙂

Sometimes in life, your well intentioned plans don’t always work out the way you want.  When I found out that I would be a dad for the first time, the 9 months leading up to my first son’s birth was a waterfall planning exercise of all the things I would do with my son and all the “right of passage” milestone’s we would accomplish together.  Birthday parties, bicycle riding, fishing trips, coaching his baseball team and yes of course eventually the birds and bees talk.   My expectations of these milestones were naive at best and although they were well planned they were also cliche and idealistic.  I’ve learned over the years that sometimes you just have to go with the flow and let your kids take you on a ride.

A few years ago, back in November 2014 my cousin Mike was running for Mayor of Austin. On election night, November 4th, My wife, our 3 kids and myself drove down to Austin from San Antonio to show support.  We figured it would be a great learning experience as we would talk about the electoral process and what it meant to vote, etc.  In addition to the kids introduction into real Texas politics first hand, I was extremely proud of my cousin and wanted the boys to share this family event with me.  The viewing party was downtown at a Ray Benson owned venue called the Rattle Inn on Nueces street just off of 6th street.  The vibe of the Rattle Inn was modern and inspiring.  The crowd profile, a lot of campaign volunteers, a few family members, mostly 30/40-something’s, college educated, no kids (at least not in attendance) and an air of concentrated local Austin democratic power filled the room.  There was a total of 5 kids in the place.  3 of them mine.  So not your typical weekday chick-fil-a lunch crowd if you know what I mean.  However, we were there to support “Mike for Mayor” none the less.  My wife and I settled in, made sure our kids secured their complimentary sodas and appetizers and then went to socialize and say hi to the family members.  After about 15 mins of introductions, handshakes and political palavering, Eli, my 6 year old middle-son all dressed up in his best presidential/first grade picture day attire asked to go to use the men’s room.  As we headed to the restrooms in the back of the venue, through the hallway of rustic decor and edgy 60’s framed ads, I should have seen the indicators of indecency literally “written on the wall”.  But I didn’t.  We situated ourselves in the mens room, Eli took care of his business, started to wash his hands and wait on Dad.  However, as I wrapped up my business, turned and looked back at Eli as he washed his hands.  I noticed his head was tilted back, neck hinged like a trash can lid, mouth wide open as if he was trying to catch falling rain in his mouth.  At first glance, I paid no attention, however after I finishing washing my hands I looked over and to my surprise he was still in the same position.  As I followed his lead and looked up at the ceiling a mixed sense of embarrassment, ignorance and humor overcame me all at once.  The entire ceiling was covered with Vintage Playboy centerfolds (Good ole’ days … before they were fully nude).  My initial thought, was hmmm not really raunchy, vulgar nor intrusive, but rather classy, appropriate and delightful.  However, I still had my 6 year old son looking up at a ceiling of bare breasts and voluptuous women and I had not been prepared to have this discussion with him for at least 7-8 more years.  As I tried to figure out what my next move would be, Eli dropped his head back to normal position, cracked a mischievous smile and gave me a look as if he slightly understood the significance of what just happened.  We didn’t really talk about it, but as we exited the restroom he went back to being a 6 year old as if nothing happened and I was left a little confused, concerned but yet proud of the way he handled it.  The truth of the matter is that they are not going to wait to grow up, and I will soon have a lot more experiences like this with both of my boys, regardless if I’m ready or not.

Eli turned 7 back in October, and Ethan 9 in January.  As Jillian approaches her 3rd birthday next month and I my 35th, I continue to be humbled and blessed for all of the experiences, love and humor that surrounds me every day.  I haven’t always recognized the miracles that happen everyday, but as I do my life becomes more fulfilled, intentional and down right fun.  Even though, Eli got a little glimpse of what our birds and bees discussion will be about, in the grand scheme of things, I will be better prepared for what life gives me and recognize the milestones as they present themselves.

To finish this story …. After we left the restroom, I walked Eli back to my wife and then went to socialize for a bit and say hello to some more family members who arrived after our little adventure.  About 30 mins later I went to the booth where my wife and kids were sitting talking to some friends.  I quickly noticed Eli was not sitting with them.  I asked my wife where Eli was?  She unknowingly and innocently looked at me and smiled …. “He had to go to the restroom again.”  

#thankYouAustin #IGotToPee #BirdsAndTheBees