An Interview with Abe

I’m a big Tim Ferris fan.  I have been a fan for several years now.  His latest book is called “Tribe of Mentors”, in which he sits down and interviews over 100 high-profile, high-performance people across multiple industries to identify what makes them “tick”.  The book is an easy read and gives a peak into some of the personal habits of these people.  In the book, Tim uses a format of questions that he poses to each individual to create a conversation about how these folks approach their world.

As I read these interviews, I thought to myself “how would I answer” these questions if they were posed to me?  I’m in now way a world-class high-performer but thought it would be cool to do an interview with myself and then maybe come back and do it again in a year, and then again the following year.  Anyway, you get the picture.  Take a look at my self-directed interview and try it for yourself.  The questions below are taken directly from some of the questions Tim has asked his guests and I also added a few more questions that I would add if I were in his position.

What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?

I love waking up before 90% of the people in the world!  I wake up every morning between 4AM – 4:30AM.  I absolutely love doing this.  In fact, I look forward to it toward the end of each day as I start to ponder what the next day looks like.  It may seem absolutely absurd, however I have come to cherish this time as sacred and try and make no compromises (even on vacation).  The reasons I do this are three fold :

1. I am selfish.  I need deep thinking time to myself and with a high-demand job, a young busy family and aspirations to be a balanced soul I find early mornings are like church for me.  Quiet, peaceful, alone and did I say quiet 🙂
2. I don’t own my time during the day.  Outside of the 1.5 – 2 hours I have to myself in this holy time, the rest of my day is spent “giving” to others.  I enjoy the art of giving and my time is the most precious time I can give to my kids, wife and my employees.  So the mornings I “give” myself my own gift of time.
3. Balance.  When I step back and look at all the things I do in a normal day, it can easily overwhelm me.  The mornings will give me time to take myself “out” of the picture and look at the meta part of my life and recognize the ephemerality and insignificance of it all.  I say that not to sound dark or cold, but when you step out of you own head for a bit it really can give a perspective that creates a deep sense of balance in your life.

What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”?

Approach your first job as if, no one owes you anything.  Work harder than anyone else, absorb and learn as much as you possibly can and find ways to put yourself in disadvantaged positions so that you desire and hunger for success never ceases.  Appreciate your college degree, hang it on the wall and then never mention it again.   You are now starting completely over, leverage the experience and framework for learning you got out of college but now go start completely over.

What is the book (or books) you’ve given most as a gift, and why?  What are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?

“Meditations” by Marcus Aurelius.  This was the first book I read as I started to learn more about Stoicism and it changed the way I approach my work, my relationships and my approach on life.  Simple, timeless wisdom on living in the present, managing our emotions in stressful situations and keeping things in perspective.  As for books that have influenced my life, three come to mind that I often go back to from time to time.  First, Meditations as already mentioned, second is “Tools of Titans” by Tim Ferris and third is “The 48 Laws of Power” by Robert Greene.

What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months?

I bought a new blues sports jacket.  OK, it was a little more than $100 bucks but it has positively impacted my life in several different ways.  First, it gives me confidence when I wear it.  Silly I know, but in my world portraying humble confidence in all you do is key to being successful, influential and a good leader.  Second, it goes with everything.  I can wear jeans and boots with it or dress it up with some nice khakis.  Since I bought it a few weeks ago, I’ve gotten so many compliments on it and my presence.  Kind of funny, but that’s what a nice sports jacket can do for you!

If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it, what would it say and why?

“As long as you are living, keep learning how to live” – Seneca

This is one of my favorite quotes from Seneca.  I think it expresses this perpetual idea of every second we are alive, we have an opportunity to continue our learning of how to live.  So I approach each and every day as a new canvas, a new opportunity for success, new possibility of doing and seeing something completely different.  Life is made up of our experiences and each and every one of those is something that we should cherish and be thankful for our ability to experience them.  So I would put this on a bill board because I’d want everyone to see and hopefully be able to understand the way I do.

In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?

Meditation.  I’ve made it a part of my daily routines.  I do 10 minute guided meditation sessions using an app called “Headspace”.  It’s given me a routine approach to learn how to become better at the art of meditation.  It stops me in my tracks, gives me an opportunity to calm my mind and techniques on how to better manage my emotions.  This has improved my life in so many ways because it forces me and teaches me how to be able to “not” think.  Something that is really hard to do.

In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to?  What new realizations and/or approaches helped?

Reconnecting to old friends or people who I don’t have a lot in common right now.  This may sound cold, but as mentioned before my time is extremely limited right now and so many times in the past I have always been willing to give and invest my time in activities and people who I really shouldn’t be.  I think the realization that life is too short and that I have people very close to me who need all the time they can get with me has really helped me prioritize and say “no” I’m good.  Also, it really helps when you just say “no” and don’t try and make an excuse.  It may seem awkward at first, but when you just say no and leave it at that the guilt doesn’t linger and it is really freeing.

When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do?

I have built several tactics for dealing with being overwhelmed or unfocused.

1. Run – I love to run, so this is an easy natural way for me to disconnect and get refocused.  Typically do a 3 – 6 mile run at an 8 mpm pace, usually gives me enough cardio to break a sweat and settle down my nerves and get me balanced again.
2. Drink tea – I love to drink green team with ginger.  It’s calming and light.  I sip it in the evenings and it helps me come down from a high-energy intense day.
3. Play Guitar – I started playing guitar back in college in 1998 and have been a hobby player ever since.  One of my favorite stress relieving activities is to play guitar for my daughter while she sings.